Live Positive Lifestyle Coaching, LLC

Live Life to the Fullest!!

How to Work Through Tough Relationships. — July 26, 2018

How to Work Through Tough Relationships.

Let’s talk about relationships.  The first thing that probably comes to mind when someone says “relationship” is probably your romantic relationship.  But there are so many other relationships in our lives.  We have brothers, sisters, parents, friends and even co-workers that you have relationships with.

Relationship can tend to be frustrating.  You may get frustrated when the people you interact with each and every day don’t do what you think is best.  It could be a co-worker that you are explaining something to and after you leave they find a different way to it that suits them, but you don’t see it the way they do.  Or your kids that you give advice to and they refuse to listen or do the opposite you say. Or a communication issue with your parents.  All of these scenarios can leave you wanting to scream or pull your hair out.  Can I get an Amen?  I have two boys enough said.

But what I am going to share with you today is going to save your sanity.  Drop all expectations.  It’s that simple.  It’s when you expect someone to do what you say or that you want to control the situation that you tend to feel frustrated.  Everyone on this earth has the right to be who they want to be and do what they want to do.   You get to choose how you want to feel about that person.  Let me give you some examples.

If you have a family member or a friend that you are constantly inviting to gatherings and they are always busy doing something else, you may tend to start to think this person doesn’t care.  You start feeling angry, sad, frustrated or disappointed.  These are all normal responses because we expect that if you invite someone to an event that they would want to come.  When they don’t you start to tell yourself stories, in your mind.  These stories you tell your self are what creates the feelings you are having.  The best way to combat these feelings is to let the person be who they want to be.  You cannot change them.  You can always extend the invitation but have no expectations tied to their response. This will not only create a more peaceful mind for you but more peace in your relationship.  That is what makes this so great and awesome.  You get to decide how you want to feel.

Another example: If your child, son or daughter, ends up in prison or dealing with a drug addiction, as a parent the first thing you want to do is start evaluating what you did wrong.  But who says you did anything wrong?  That is when you get to let them make their own choices and face their own consequences.  You can feel empathy for them and want to help them empower themselves, but never take on someone else’s actions as your responsibility.  This does not serve you.  You can even set time aside to grieve about what could have been; however, do not choose this spot as your resting place.  There is still more life for them to live and for you to live.  No one knows the future and you will never know why they are living the path they are living.  Only in the future is their purpose revealed.

In summary, you get to choose how you get to feel about any relationship in your life.  If you choose to love someone you get to love them, unconditionally.  They cannot stop you from loving or feeling love for them.  And why would you want to choose any other emotion?

If you have a relationship that you want to work through I invite you to schedule a complimentary session we me, https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/relationship-coaching,

Live Positive My Friends!!

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The Makings of a Great Relationship. — July 13, 2018

The Makings of a Great Relationship.

Marriage is not always sunshine and roses.  Neither was it meant to be.  Just like in life there is going to be positive and negative.  What makes a good marriage is working through the negative and accepting the it.  Understanding what is making it negative.  What is making it negative or bad is the thinking you have behind it.

I am on my second marriage and I choose to be happy in this marriage.  Not by making up things that don’t exist but by not making him be the person I want him to become.  I married him because I love who he is, why would I want to change that?

Just the other night there was a topic that I enjoy discussing but he doesn’t really want to talk about it.  I could have made a big deal about it and made him feel bad for not feeling my need to express myself.  I could have used this moment to criticize and point out all the things he is doing wrong.  But you know what, there isn’t anything he is doing wrong.

I am letting him be him.  I could choose to look at my marriage and my husband and find everything that I believe to be wrong with him or I could look at my marriage and my husband and see everything that is right about him.

The next time you are feeling like your spouse/partner is not living up to what you thought marriage would be, look at your thoughts you are having and do a love fest on them.  What do I mean by a love fest?  Write down everything you love about your spouse/partner and you will feel a change in how you feel and the direction of your marriage.

Here is my love fest on my husband:

  • I love the way he is concerned about my feelings (even though he has not control) 😊
  • I love the way he laughs
  • I love the effort he puts in with caring for our dogs and making sure they have good nutrition
  • I love his body
  • I love how he smells
  • I love how he takes care of himself and takes pride in the way he looks
  • I love how he takes care of my vehicle for me
  • I love how he makes sure I get to visit my children
  • I love the he snuggles with me
  • I love how he still opens the door for me

I could go on and on, but you understand what a love fest is, and I challenge you to write down 10 things you can love on about your partner.

If you want to make your relationship stronger schedule your complimentary session today, https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/relationship-coaching.

Live Positive My Friends!

Lost in Solicitous — March 15, 2018

Lost in Solicitous

 

Darkness, despair, lost, hopeless.

Can I ever please anyone?  Am I worthy of love? I try so hard to be perfect.  I will never be good enough.

Have you ever had these thoughts?  I have and more.

Looking at me from the outside you would have never guessed it.  I remember sitting at a stop light watching people walk in front of my car and wonder, “do they ever get panic attacks?”  “Do they know what it is like?”  Because you can never tell what someone is going through in their own mind.  I looked totally normal but never felt it.  I felt alone most of the time, I had one long time friend that I wouldn’t call, my husband and kids; other than that I closed out the world.

Anxiety was the reason.  I allowed it to take over who I was and what I was willing to do.  It was the boss, I wasn’t.  There was nothing I could do about it.  That was a lie.  Anxiety is completely within our own control.  Once you know what is causing it and solutions to it, anxiety can become something in the back of your mind instead of the front.

What causes anxiety?  Our thoughts.  I worried about everything.  How other people viewed me.  How they view my children.  Hurting my children’s feelings.  What could happen to my children.  Working and sending my kids to daycare.  Not working and staying home with them.  There was never a moment of peace in my mind.  That is what anxiety is; needless worrying.

How do you manage it?  Manage your thoughts.  If you don’t know what you are thinking it will be hard to manage anything.  So the first step is to look at what you are thinking.  Once you know the thoughts then place a value on the thought.  Use a scale from 1-10 how likely is it to happen.  Use 1 as not very likely and 10 very likely.  If it is less than an 8 let it go.  If it is a 9 or 10 figure out a solution to it.  What are you making it mean if it does happen?  Is it life threatening?  Most likely it isn’t.  Once you have given the thought perspective the anxiety will lessen or go away, until next time.

Remember this is about managing anxiety.  I am not a therapist or a doctor.  I am not promising anxiety will go away.  But I am a survivor and I have a completely different life today than I did even 3 years ago.

For more of my story check out my YouTube video.

 

 

If you struggle with anxiety and would like a complimentary Anxiety Management Session please click here or copy and paste into your browser, https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/anxiety-management-complimentary-session.

Live Positive My Friends.

It’s the big Weekend — February 2, 2018

It’s the big Weekend

Who are you going for this weekend?  If you don’t know what I am talking about it is Super Bowl weekend.  Whether you are sitting down to watch the game or just the commercials I hope you have a great time.  For me, I want to focus on the food.

If you have been following my posts you know I started a cleanse last Saturday.  I know, poor timing on my part, right?  But I don’t see it that way.  I don’t want food to be my center of enjoyment or pleasure.  I want to enjoy the event, the people, the game.  Or whatever it is going on in life at the time.

I just moved to Arizona and my husband wants to go out to a new restaurant to try out the local food.  And this sounds great to me.  There are so many choices that can be made that will still keep me on my cleanse.

Here are some tips on staying true to yourself and still enjoying life.

  • Order a salad (if on a cleanse avoid the dairy)
  • Order a sandwich or hamburger without the bun
  • Drink Lemon water
  • Order quinoa or brown rice with fish
  • Baked chicken

Don’t use food as your pleasure, use food for fuel.  Enjoy the company you are with.  Give your attention to your guest(s) and to your surroundings.  Sit back and listen to what is going on around you.  Put your phone down.  Have awareness in your life.

Whatever your plans are this weekend or any other time in life, plan what you will eat.  Focus on the atmosphere.  And eat to fuel your body.

I want to invite you to check out my podcast for more in depth information on not using food for fulfillment.

Live Positive My Friends!

Circumstances Are Neither Positive or Negative — February 1, 2018

Circumstances Are Neither Positive or Negative

Today I am going to talk about circumstances and how we, using our thoughts, make circumstances positive or negative.  Before I go into this too deep I want to say that even though it is up to us, there are some circumstances, that it is normal to choose to have a negative feeling.

What is a circumstance?  A circumstance is a fact.  Example: it is raining outside, my mother passed away, my boss said, “he is unsatisfied with my job performance”.  These are all facts that cannot be disputed.  The thoughts we have about these facts is what makes them positive in our life or negative.  If you enjoy the rain you are going to be happy and excited that it is raining and your thoughts will create that feeling.  The same actions take place with the other two facts.

The biggest thing I want to convey when I am writing this blog is not that you should always be positive, or that it is wrong if you are negative.  The main point is that if you choose to be negative or you choose to be positive, own it!  Do not live in a world where everything is happening to you, that you do not have any control over it.  Own that you are choosing to look at something in a negative light.  I would follow up with how choosing negative thoughts are serving you.  However, if it isn’t serving you but you are accepting that fact and claim it, then that is great.  Just don’t get stuck in a victim mentality.

In my podcast I share a couple of personal experiences and show how they can be viewed in a positive light.  I invite you to take a listen.

https://www.podbean.com/media/player/5wtn5-86351a?from=yiiadmin

Take your power and design your future!

Live Positive My Friends!

Re-Enforcement Meditation — January 31, 2018

Re-Enforcement Meditation

Greetings and Salutations to a wonderful Tribe!  Hope you are all out there creating the life you see for yourself!

We are 5 days in to our 14-day reset cleanse.  If you are doing this with me and are having your ups and downs, I am right there with you.  I still have an occasional struggle and want to throw it all down the drain.  My mind still has the habit thought that I “need” a soda.  But this is completely normal.  This thought loop as been with me for the better part of 30 years.  It will not change over-night and it isn’t easy.  But it is worth it.

Today I started my day out with what I call a re-enforcement meditation.  How is this done?  Before you sit down in your quiet spot shake out the energy you have in your body.  Shake your arms, kick out your legs, shake your feet, wiggle your head.  Now sit down in a posture that is comfortable for you but no slouching.  Really pull your spine up and feel the confidence going through your being.  Clear out your mind.  Now, intentionally place your goal in the center of your mind’s eye.  Really focus on it.  Breathe in deep and exhale out.  Repeat.  Now focus on the reason why you want to reach this goal.  Here is how I did the thought process for my goal of completing this cleanse.

My why – to get healthy.  This thought seems very simplistic and may not be enough to get me through the struggling moments.  So, I then ask myself why do I want to get healthy?  Well there are layers of answers for why I want to get healthy: my business, my husband, my children, my granddaughter, to really experience life for as long as I can, financially.   I can then do another layer of re enforcing my why – what does getting healthy mean for my business?  More confidence in reaching out to people to show them that coaching does work, that I will have more flexibility in my schedule for my family, to be able to really serve the community of the people that struggle like I did.

The steps above can really keep going for each layer of what I listed for my reason to be healthy.  As you go through the steps you will really feel the re commitment right down to the center of your core.  The next time you have the thought error of wanting something that is not in alignment with your goal this re-enforced thought will also be there to keep you on track.

I invite you to check out and follow my podcast, <a href=”https://livepositivelc.podbean.com/mf/play/iuwwdu/2018-01-31-_6.mp3″>Download this episode (right click and save)</a>, to hear me do the breathing technique and to hear about self-care that will help you in reaching your goals.

I would love to hear from you – Live Positive My Friends!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Laying the Ground Work for Victory — January 29, 2018

Laying the Ground Work for Victory

Happy Monday my fellow tribe members.  Hope everything is going absolutely wonderful for you.  I have started a 14 day reset cleanse and am pretty excited!  The first 2 days were all about laying the ground work.

This phase is all about identifying goals, setting up support, creating a schedule, preparing your home, and getting your mind right.  This phase is all about the foundation to success.  “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”  – Benjamin Franklin.

Let’s break this down.

  • Identifying goals – know why you want to cleanse and what are your expectations?  Identify what are some of the habits you want to reset and which ones you want to eliminate.
  • Setting up support – this is crucial.  Get friends, family, coach, or follow my podcast https://fccdl.in/3UlQTrqWx.  There will be times that you don’t want to keep going, days seem stressful that you will tell yourself lies and you just don’t want to do it another minute.  Having the people around you for support you will give you the encouragement you need to get out of the slump.
  • Creating a schedule – this is all about not having to rely on the primitive part of the brain.  You will be in more control of knowing when to eat and what to eat.
  • Preparing your home – put away or throw away any items that will be an obstacle for you, or a craving that will give into.  You don’t want these items to be around when you are going through a low moment.
  • Getting your mind right – this means clearing out all the negative thoughts and replacing them with motivating thoughts.  I did this by weighing myself at the start of the program and putting the scale away until the end.  Looking at that number with curiosity and not judgment.  Truly understanding that it is just a number; don’t make it mean anything more than that.  This is where coaching comes in.  We dig deep into what you are making it mean to you.  I invite you to check out a free coaching session https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/30min to see how it can help you.

Day 3, which is where I am today.  This is the beginning of phase 2.  Phase 2 covers the next 7 days.  Here is a list of what you “get” to eat.

  • whole, vegetables, leafy greens
  • whole fruits, berries, lemon water
  • brown rice, quinoa
  • beans, legumes, lentils
  • nuts, seeds, & nut butters
  • avocado & coconut oil
  • green tea, yerba mate
  • fish, chicken and turkey (stick with fish and poultry)
  • Stevia (only in moderation, no other sweeteners)

Here is your foundation to starting a great cleanse and getting your body back on track.  This is going to make you feel great and create energy you didn’t know you had.

Live Positive My Friends!!

The Secret to Stress — January 19, 2018

The Secret to Stress

I want to talk to you about stress.  The definition of stress from dictionary.com is “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.” Or a humorous one that I enjoy is “The confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the living daylights out of somebody who desperately needs it”.

When we look at the definition from dictionary.com is states the mental or emotional strain resulting from an adverse circumstance.  Breaking down that statement I would have to disagree with this definition.  The reason for my difference of opinion is because circumstances are neutral.  This definition makes it sound like the stress is happening to us, not that we are creating it.

I have a story to share to demonstrate what I mean.  I was talking to someone the other day and they were feeling a little stressed and short on time.  They were in the middle of a move and had a long list of things to still get done.  They shared with me that they didn’t know if they would get it all done in time.  At this point I took a moment to have them step back and see that thought they just had.  “I don’t know if I will be able to get it all done”.  This thought is what was creating the stress, the move was just a set of tasks still needing to be completed.  I explained that what they needed to do is get clear on what still needs to be done and create a to do list.  To take this list a step further they could put time limits on each task.  Once you have completed this step all the drama and stress will go away, and you will have motivation and empowerment in its place.  Anyone that is feeling stress can step back and look at the thoughts they are generating and breakdown the necessary tasks or steps that need to be accomplished to alleviate their stress.

Another part of this is what are we making it mean?  When we are feeling stress over a job for example, the stress can truly be coming from a place of fear.  We may be setting out to impress our boss, client or colleagues.  That may be where our stress is being generated from, we don’t want to let anyone down, or we want to control how others see us.  Here is the most important advice I can give you.  We cannot control what others think of us and it is none of our business what they are thinking.

As a health coach I bring this topic up because stress can wreak havoc on our mental state, health and wellness state and lead us binge eating.  If this sounds like you I invite you to click this link, https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/30min, to schedule your complimentary mini session to discover the secrets to your stress.

Live Positive My Friends!

Diet From the Past to Protocol of the Future! — January 18, 2018

Diet From the Past to Protocol of the Future!

I started my dieting journey in the era of low fat/no fat.  This diet was a lot of pasta, breads and refined foods.  If the label read low grams of fat content it was allowed on my menu.  Another aspect of this diet era was eating more often.  So, let me break this down for you.  I was eating a bagel for breakfast, carrots for a snack, a lean cuisine meal for lunch, some Snack Wells cookies for afternoon snack and to finish it off a plate of spaghetti with bread for dinner.

As I watched my fat intake I was always hungry and craving more food.  I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t losing the weight.  I was following all the advice and watching fat intake along with calories.  This was so frustrating for me.

Fast forward 20 years and I now know that everything I was told prior on dieting was all wrong.  It wasn’t the fat consumption I should have been the most concerned about.  Before I get comments correcting me, I do what to state, saturated fat should always be monitored and avoided if possible.  But there are so many good fats that get a bad reputation.  My favorite sources of fat are avocado, nuts and coconut oil to name a few.  The problem with my diet previously was eating too much and too many processed carbs.

Today I aim to eat a protocol of no flour / no sugar.  I do not count calories.  I limit my meals to twice a day.  I have a window for eating and that is between 11am and 6pm.  I no longer snack.  But I do have exceptions, planned leisure eats.  I do keep a food journal to the extent of the amount of food and types of food I am consuming.  With this protocol I have greatly reduced the desire I had for food.

I do not only help people create a protocol for them and work through their emotions, but I do it for myself as well.  I work through my emotions daily to understand what I am thinking and the emotions that are being created.  I then work through the process of creating intentional thoughts that allows me to create the best life I can.

I invite you to schedule a complimentary mini-session to discuss your protocol and what tweaks can be done to increase your results, click the link now  https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/30min.

Check out my video answering the question “Why do I crave the bread in the breadbasket at restaurants?” https://www.facebook.com/livepositivelifestylecoaching/videos/1579139312132106/

Live Positive My Friends.

The Closest Parking Spot. — January 12, 2018

The Closest Parking Spot.

Today I want to talk about instinct and how it may hold you back.  This topic came to me when I got back from lunch and was parking my car.  There was a spot open right by the entrance of my building.  At first, I was quite stoked about this accomplishment but than I wondered, “why do we all want the space closest to the door?”.

My mind came up with a few ideas of why, to get in out of the cold, we are in a hurry, or maybe just lazy.  But then I took a deeper look into it.  Is it some kind of achievement, even though no one else knows of it?  Is this an instinctual habit built into our DNA?  Have you heard of the Motivational Triad?

To break down briefly what the Motivational Triad is, it is the brain seeking pleasure, avoiding pain and being efficient.  The Motivational Triad I believe is why we seek out the closest parking space.  Our brain is doing what the brain does and is being efficient.  We are making the least effort and maximizing the amount of time we have.

How is this holding you back you ask?  We are expending the least amount of effort and energy, that’s how.  If it is showing up in simple every day tasks such as parking it is showing up in everything we do.  Which may be why you are choosing not to get active.  You need to become aware of how your mind work and the unconscious habits you may have.  To be able to make real change in your life you must be able to know what your mind thinking and your body is doing.  This goes for all areas of life not just movement, but eating, thinking, everything.

Have a great weekend my friends, Live Positive!!