Live Positive Lifestyle Coaching, LLC

Live Life to the Fullest!!

How to Work Through Tough Relationships. — July 26, 2018

How to Work Through Tough Relationships.

Let’s talk about relationships.  The first thing that probably comes to mind when someone says “relationship” is probably your romantic relationship.  But there are so many other relationships in our lives.  We have brothers, sisters, parents, friends and even co-workers that you have relationships with.

Relationship can tend to be frustrating.  You may get frustrated when the people you interact with each and every day don’t do what you think is best.  It could be a co-worker that you are explaining something to and after you leave they find a different way to it that suits them, but you don’t see it the way they do.  Or your kids that you give advice to and they refuse to listen or do the opposite you say. Or a communication issue with your parents.  All of these scenarios can leave you wanting to scream or pull your hair out.  Can I get an Amen?  I have two boys enough said.

But what I am going to share with you today is going to save your sanity.  Drop all expectations.  It’s that simple.  It’s when you expect someone to do what you say or that you want to control the situation that you tend to feel frustrated.  Everyone on this earth has the right to be who they want to be and do what they want to do.   You get to choose how you want to feel about that person.  Let me give you some examples.

If you have a family member or a friend that you are constantly inviting to gatherings and they are always busy doing something else, you may tend to start to think this person doesn’t care.  You start feeling angry, sad, frustrated or disappointed.  These are all normal responses because we expect that if you invite someone to an event that they would want to come.  When they don’t you start to tell yourself stories, in your mind.  These stories you tell your self are what creates the feelings you are having.  The best way to combat these feelings is to let the person be who they want to be.  You cannot change them.  You can always extend the invitation but have no expectations tied to their response. This will not only create a more peaceful mind for you but more peace in your relationship.  That is what makes this so great and awesome.  You get to decide how you want to feel.

Another example: If your child, son or daughter, ends up in prison or dealing with a drug addiction, as a parent the first thing you want to do is start evaluating what you did wrong.  But who says you did anything wrong?  That is when you get to let them make their own choices and face their own consequences.  You can feel empathy for them and want to help them empower themselves, but never take on someone else’s actions as your responsibility.  This does not serve you.  You can even set time aside to grieve about what could have been; however, do not choose this spot as your resting place.  There is still more life for them to live and for you to live.  No one knows the future and you will never know why they are living the path they are living.  Only in the future is their purpose revealed.

In summary, you get to choose how you get to feel about any relationship in your life.  If you choose to love someone you get to love them, unconditionally.  They cannot stop you from loving or feeling love for them.  And why would you want to choose any other emotion?

If you have a relationship that you want to work through I invite you to schedule a complimentary session we me, https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/relationship-coaching,

Live Positive My Friends!!

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Are You Ready to Begin? — December 28, 2017

Are You Ready to Begin?

Hope your celebrations this Christmas and Hanukkah Season were amazing times with friends and family.  There is so much emphasis and stress we put on ourselves during the holidays from Halloween all the way through to New Years.  And by doing so we turn to food, drink or any other vices that get us through.

You may even be at the point you are saying to yourself, “I will just wait for the New Year to begin working on my weight or health.”  This is a form of denial and justification.  We use the New Year resolution as our starting point because honestly, we want to put off working through our problems as long as we can.  We want to stay in our cocoons and stay within our comfort zones.

I want to challenge you to start today.  Right this moment.  I know that you have the parties and celebrations coming up this weekend.  Imagine how confident and empowered you can be if you make the decision today and honor that commitment with yourself.  I get excited thinking of this reality for myself.  That I can go to any event and decide before hand how I am going to show up for myself.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • Why do I want to put it off?
  • What are the thoughts and feelings I am experiencing when I think about starting now?
  • Why do I think I need to eat (off protocol) and/or drink to have fun?

These are some starting points to really be able to understand what you are making giving up food mean to you.  For myself, I looked at food as my comfort and in the form of scarcity.  Anytime I would start a plan I automatically felt this need to indulge.  The thought I was having about that was that I won’t be able to experience this food again.  This was a total lie I was telling myself.  I still plan my joy eats when I want.  I was making food the priority in life when it should have been my health and true happiness.  When I would think about eating better and giving up sugar and flour somewhere in the deepest darkest corners of my mind it meant I wasn’t going to be happy anymore.  I no longer believe this story.

I know that you can do this, and you will be more confident and excited if you get your own back and really support the decisions you make for yourself.

Join my Emotional Overeaters Group on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/108059126656894/

Live Positive!!

Making it Through the Holidays is all About Mind Set — December 6, 2017

Making it Through the Holidays is all About Mind Set

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, etc.  It is that time of year again.  Filled with parties and celebrations and lots of food.  This thought can put any steadfast dieter on high alert.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.  First off if you do refer to what you eat as a “diet” I would suggest changing the word or the thought behind it.  The word diet usually comes with a program and a start and stop date.  I like to think it the terms of protocol or nutrition.

But that is beside the point.  I want to talk about the food.  We go to all of these events feeling a little apprehensive because we label food as “good” or “bad” categories.  Instead of thinking in these black and white terms, focus on the planning.  Make a commitment to yourself before you go out; what will you eat, how much will you eat and let the rest of it go.  This also includes alcohol.  Know before you go what you will drink and how much.  If you are committed to yourself and your protocol it is ok to indulge; if that is what you choose to do.  Don’t let the holiday weight gain “happen” to you.  it is all in your control.

When you plan with your prefrontal cortex it makes follow through much easier and dependable.  Go with the intention of having fun without food.  Enjoy the atmosphere, the people and the experience.  There is so much that is missed because we are focused on what is going on at the food table.  Or deciding what we should try next.

Let this year be different and skip the weight gain.  Don’t wait for the New Year to start making true habit change.

Live Positive!