Live Positive Lifestyle Coaching, LLC

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How to Work Through Tough Relationships. — July 26, 2018

How to Work Through Tough Relationships.

Let’s talk about relationships.  The first thing that probably comes to mind when someone says “relationship” is probably your romantic relationship.  But there are so many other relationships in our lives.  We have brothers, sisters, parents, friends and even co-workers that you have relationships with.

Relationship can tend to be frustrating.  You may get frustrated when the people you interact with each and every day don’t do what you think is best.  It could be a co-worker that you are explaining something to and after you leave they find a different way to it that suits them, but you don’t see it the way they do.  Or your kids that you give advice to and they refuse to listen or do the opposite you say. Or a communication issue with your parents.  All of these scenarios can leave you wanting to scream or pull your hair out.  Can I get an Amen?  I have two boys enough said.

But what I am going to share with you today is going to save your sanity.  Drop all expectations.  It’s that simple.  It’s when you expect someone to do what you say or that you want to control the situation that you tend to feel frustrated.  Everyone on this earth has the right to be who they want to be and do what they want to do.   You get to choose how you want to feel about that person.  Let me give you some examples.

If you have a family member or a friend that you are constantly inviting to gatherings and they are always busy doing something else, you may tend to start to think this person doesn’t care.  You start feeling angry, sad, frustrated or disappointed.  These are all normal responses because we expect that if you invite someone to an event that they would want to come.  When they don’t you start to tell yourself stories, in your mind.  These stories you tell your self are what creates the feelings you are having.  The best way to combat these feelings is to let the person be who they want to be.  You cannot change them.  You can always extend the invitation but have no expectations tied to their response. This will not only create a more peaceful mind for you but more peace in your relationship.  That is what makes this so great and awesome.  You get to decide how you want to feel.

Another example: If your child, son or daughter, ends up in prison or dealing with a drug addiction, as a parent the first thing you want to do is start evaluating what you did wrong.  But who says you did anything wrong?  That is when you get to let them make their own choices and face their own consequences.  You can feel empathy for them and want to help them empower themselves, but never take on someone else’s actions as your responsibility.  This does not serve you.  You can even set time aside to grieve about what could have been; however, do not choose this spot as your resting place.  There is still more life for them to live and for you to live.  No one knows the future and you will never know why they are living the path they are living.  Only in the future is their purpose revealed.

In summary, you get to choose how you get to feel about any relationship in your life.  If you choose to love someone you get to love them, unconditionally.  They cannot stop you from loving or feeling love for them.  And why would you want to choose any other emotion?

If you have a relationship that you want to work through I invite you to schedule a complimentary session we me, https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/relationship-coaching,

Live Positive My Friends!!

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Girl Talk: Intimacy with Your Spouse — July 19, 2018

Girl Talk: Intimacy with Your Spouse

As a teenage girl growing up in the 80’s it was pretty awesome.  There were a lot of independent role models.  The icons of the 80s were Madonna, Janet Jackson and Alyssa Milano to name a few.  These women were teaching us that we were strong, independent women who didn’t need men.  That we were in control.  However; those of us who were married were being taught that we were the ones in control and that everything is up to us.  And that means even the “chicka chicka boom boom”.

This philosophy may look good on paper and sound really empowering but this thinking, I believe, created a lot more dysfunctional marriages and broken homes.  Women decided that men were just another fixture only there for our needs.  No mention of their needs.

In the early 90s there was another icon I started listening to; that was Dr. Laura.  She taught me how important it was to want to have intimacy in my marriage.  Our spouses are not there to serve us.  They are there to be loved by us.  To care for them and respect them and appreciate who they are, not to change them.  Once we release the stress of wanting to control who they are and learn to love them, then the relationship can go so much further.

We do not only need to have sex when we feel like it.  What usually makes us not want to feel like it, is us.  We tell ourselves how tired we are, how busy we are, how unattractive we feel.  We fool ourselves into thinking that if we don’t feel like it, we don’t have to worry about our partner.  That is such a selfish thought.  Being close to your spouse in such an intimate manner is one of the blessing we have in life.  If you feel that you are telling yourself that you’re tired, that only you matter, etc., then you need to decide how important a happy marriage is to you.  If your spouse is wanting sex and at that particular time you aren’t feeling like it, then change your thoughts.  Put on music that makes you feel happy and sassy.  Dress up, do your hair and makeup.  If being funny and humorous can get you in the mood do that.  This will dramatically change your marriage.  If you don’t believe me; challenge yourself to try this over the next few months, but you will also have to change your thinking about your whole relationship no just when you are being intimate.

The status of your relationship is all in your mind.  If you want a fabulous relationship all you have to do is think it.

If you would like to experience a relationship coaching session click here to schedule – https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/relationship-coaching.

Live Positive My Friends!!

The Makings of a Great Relationship. — July 13, 2018

The Makings of a Great Relationship.

Marriage is not always sunshine and roses.  Neither was it meant to be.  Just like in life there is going to be positive and negative.  What makes a good marriage is working through the negative and accepting the it.  Understanding what is making it negative.  What is making it negative or bad is the thinking you have behind it.

I am on my second marriage and I choose to be happy in this marriage.  Not by making up things that don’t exist but by not making him be the person I want him to become.  I married him because I love who he is, why would I want to change that?

Just the other night there was a topic that I enjoy discussing but he doesn’t really want to talk about it.  I could have made a big deal about it and made him feel bad for not feeling my need to express myself.  I could have used this moment to criticize and point out all the things he is doing wrong.  But you know what, there isn’t anything he is doing wrong.

I am letting him be him.  I could choose to look at my marriage and my husband and find everything that I believe to be wrong with him or I could look at my marriage and my husband and see everything that is right about him.

The next time you are feeling like your spouse/partner is not living up to what you thought marriage would be, look at your thoughts you are having and do a love fest on them.  What do I mean by a love fest?  Write down everything you love about your spouse/partner and you will feel a change in how you feel and the direction of your marriage.

Here is my love fest on my husband:

  • I love the way he is concerned about my feelings (even though he has not control) 😊
  • I love the way he laughs
  • I love the effort he puts in with caring for our dogs and making sure they have good nutrition
  • I love his body
  • I love how he smells
  • I love how he takes care of himself and takes pride in the way he looks
  • I love how he takes care of my vehicle for me
  • I love how he makes sure I get to visit my children
  • I love the he snuggles with me
  • I love how he still opens the door for me

I could go on and on, but you understand what a love fest is, and I challenge you to write down 10 things you can love on about your partner.

If you want to make your relationship stronger schedule your complimentary session today, https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/relationship-coaching.

Live Positive My Friends!

At the End of the Cleanse — February 5, 2018

At the End of the Cleanse

If you have been following my blog you know I have been on a cleanse.  I am now at the end of my reset cleanse.  We are in the last phase of the cleanse reintroducing the foods back into my diet.  You don’t want to re-introduce all the foods back into your diet all at once because the purpose is to find out how your body responds to the foods that are common irritants.

During this phase you will re-introduce gluten, 2 to 3 times a day for the next 2 days, back into your diet.  As you are reintroducing these foods back into your regimen record how your body responds to the food.

After doing this step for two days go back to eating off of the cleanse menu.  Then the next two days re-introduce dairy back into your diet.  As you see you are re-introducing specific items back in to see the reaction.

My protocol I am going back to is no flour/no processed sugar and intermittent fasting.  I choose a window of eating and stay with in that window.  The window I choose is 11 am to 7 pm.  This is not the protocol I use for my clients that want weight loss, this is my protocol.

Health coaching is helping you find what is sustainable in your life.  We work together to find out what you want to achieve, work with what you want in your protocol and journal what you eat.  This way as time goes by if you are not getting the results you want, you have a record of what you have been eating and we work to tweak your protocol.

If you have been using food to avoid emotions there will be drama that will show up, together we work through the drama and the thoughts you are having about the changes.  This is where the work comes in that will make this weight loss permanent.

I want to invite you to schedule a free session, https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/30min, and lets see where we can take you.

Live Positive My Friends!!

 

It’s the big Weekend — February 2, 2018

It’s the big Weekend

Who are you going for this weekend?  If you don’t know what I am talking about it is Super Bowl weekend.  Whether you are sitting down to watch the game or just the commercials I hope you have a great time.  For me, I want to focus on the food.

If you have been following my posts you know I started a cleanse last Saturday.  I know, poor timing on my part, right?  But I don’t see it that way.  I don’t want food to be my center of enjoyment or pleasure.  I want to enjoy the event, the people, the game.  Or whatever it is going on in life at the time.

I just moved to Arizona and my husband wants to go out to a new restaurant to try out the local food.  And this sounds great to me.  There are so many choices that can be made that will still keep me on my cleanse.

Here are some tips on staying true to yourself and still enjoying life.

  • Order a salad (if on a cleanse avoid the dairy)
  • Order a sandwich or hamburger without the bun
  • Drink Lemon water
  • Order quinoa or brown rice with fish
  • Baked chicken

Don’t use food as your pleasure, use food for fuel.  Enjoy the company you are with.  Give your attention to your guest(s) and to your surroundings.  Sit back and listen to what is going on around you.  Put your phone down.  Have awareness in your life.

Whatever your plans are this weekend or any other time in life, plan what you will eat.  Focus on the atmosphere.  And eat to fuel your body.

I want to invite you to check out my podcast for more in depth information on not using food for fulfillment.

Live Positive My Friends!

Circumstances Are Neither Positive or Negative — February 1, 2018

Circumstances Are Neither Positive or Negative

Today I am going to talk about circumstances and how we, using our thoughts, make circumstances positive or negative.  Before I go into this too deep I want to say that even though it is up to us, there are some circumstances, that it is normal to choose to have a negative feeling.

What is a circumstance?  A circumstance is a fact.  Example: it is raining outside, my mother passed away, my boss said, “he is unsatisfied with my job performance”.  These are all facts that cannot be disputed.  The thoughts we have about these facts is what makes them positive in our life or negative.  If you enjoy the rain you are going to be happy and excited that it is raining and your thoughts will create that feeling.  The same actions take place with the other two facts.

The biggest thing I want to convey when I am writing this blog is not that you should always be positive, or that it is wrong if you are negative.  The main point is that if you choose to be negative or you choose to be positive, own it!  Do not live in a world where everything is happening to you, that you do not have any control over it.  Own that you are choosing to look at something in a negative light.  I would follow up with how choosing negative thoughts are serving you.  However, if it isn’t serving you but you are accepting that fact and claim it, then that is great.  Just don’t get stuck in a victim mentality.

In my podcast I share a couple of personal experiences and show how they can be viewed in a positive light.  I invite you to take a listen.

https://www.podbean.com/media/player/5wtn5-86351a?from=yiiadmin

Take your power and design your future!

Live Positive My Friends!

Re-Enforcement Meditation — January 31, 2018

Re-Enforcement Meditation

Greetings and Salutations to a wonderful Tribe!  Hope you are all out there creating the life you see for yourself!

We are 5 days in to our 14-day reset cleanse.  If you are doing this with me and are having your ups and downs, I am right there with you.  I still have an occasional struggle and want to throw it all down the drain.  My mind still has the habit thought that I “need” a soda.  But this is completely normal.  This thought loop as been with me for the better part of 30 years.  It will not change over-night and it isn’t easy.  But it is worth it.

Today I started my day out with what I call a re-enforcement meditation.  How is this done?  Before you sit down in your quiet spot shake out the energy you have in your body.  Shake your arms, kick out your legs, shake your feet, wiggle your head.  Now sit down in a posture that is comfortable for you but no slouching.  Really pull your spine up and feel the confidence going through your being.  Clear out your mind.  Now, intentionally place your goal in the center of your mind’s eye.  Really focus on it.  Breathe in deep and exhale out.  Repeat.  Now focus on the reason why you want to reach this goal.  Here is how I did the thought process for my goal of completing this cleanse.

My why – to get healthy.  This thought seems very simplistic and may not be enough to get me through the struggling moments.  So, I then ask myself why do I want to get healthy?  Well there are layers of answers for why I want to get healthy: my business, my husband, my children, my granddaughter, to really experience life for as long as I can, financially.   I can then do another layer of re enforcing my why – what does getting healthy mean for my business?  More confidence in reaching out to people to show them that coaching does work, that I will have more flexibility in my schedule for my family, to be able to really serve the community of the people that struggle like I did.

The steps above can really keep going for each layer of what I listed for my reason to be healthy.  As you go through the steps you will really feel the re commitment right down to the center of your core.  The next time you have the thought error of wanting something that is not in alignment with your goal this re-enforced thought will also be there to keep you on track.

I invite you to check out and follow my podcast, <a href=”https://livepositivelc.podbean.com/mf/play/iuwwdu/2018-01-31-_6.mp3″>Download this episode (right click and save)</a>, to hear me do the breathing technique and to hear about self-care that will help you in reaching your goals.

I would love to hear from you – Live Positive My Friends!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Laying the Ground Work for Victory — January 29, 2018

Laying the Ground Work for Victory

Happy Monday my fellow tribe members.  Hope everything is going absolutely wonderful for you.  I have started a 14 day reset cleanse and am pretty excited!  The first 2 days were all about laying the ground work.

This phase is all about identifying goals, setting up support, creating a schedule, preparing your home, and getting your mind right.  This phase is all about the foundation to success.  “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”  – Benjamin Franklin.

Let’s break this down.

  • Identifying goals – know why you want to cleanse and what are your expectations?  Identify what are some of the habits you want to reset and which ones you want to eliminate.
  • Setting up support – this is crucial.  Get friends, family, coach, or follow my podcast https://fccdl.in/3UlQTrqWx.  There will be times that you don’t want to keep going, days seem stressful that you will tell yourself lies and you just don’t want to do it another minute.  Having the people around you for support you will give you the encouragement you need to get out of the slump.
  • Creating a schedule – this is all about not having to rely on the primitive part of the brain.  You will be in more control of knowing when to eat and what to eat.
  • Preparing your home – put away or throw away any items that will be an obstacle for you, or a craving that will give into.  You don’t want these items to be around when you are going through a low moment.
  • Getting your mind right – this means clearing out all the negative thoughts and replacing them with motivating thoughts.  I did this by weighing myself at the start of the program and putting the scale away until the end.  Looking at that number with curiosity and not judgment.  Truly understanding that it is just a number; don’t make it mean anything more than that.  This is where coaching comes in.  We dig deep into what you are making it mean to you.  I invite you to check out a free coaching session https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/30min to see how it can help you.

Day 3, which is where I am today.  This is the beginning of phase 2.  Phase 2 covers the next 7 days.  Here is a list of what you “get” to eat.

  • whole, vegetables, leafy greens
  • whole fruits, berries, lemon water
  • brown rice, quinoa
  • beans, legumes, lentils
  • nuts, seeds, & nut butters
  • avocado & coconut oil
  • green tea, yerba mate
  • fish, chicken and turkey (stick with fish and poultry)
  • Stevia (only in moderation, no other sweeteners)

Here is your foundation to starting a great cleanse and getting your body back on track.  This is going to make you feel great and create energy you didn’t know you had.

Live Positive My Friends!!

Lace Up Your Sneakers and Get Moving — January 23, 2018

Lace Up Your Sneakers and Get Moving

Hello!! Hope you are having a fabulous day.  I know you are setting goals and rocking it.  I know I am.  I am making mistakes too and I am fine with that.  Each mistake I make is an experience for me to learn from.

I believe in having accountability partners to push me out of my comfort zone.  To give me challenges that will stretch me.  My latest push is in the public speaking arena. I did my first interview with a personal trainer from the area.  Her name is Sara Cobb and she was such a great sport.

These interviews that I will continue doing will be focused on Health and Wellness both physical and mental.  With each interview I will then blog about what nugget was brought out that I can then share with you all.  The information you may already know and needed to hear again to reignite your spark.  Or it may be something totally new to you that you can then integrate into your life.

Personal Fitness nugget I received from my interview with Sara Cobb, Personal Trainer with Gold’s Gym.

  • If you are just starting out on your weight loss journey the first step you should do is get yourself to the gym. Even if it is doing small amounts of cardio a day, movement can have a motivating effect on the body, mind and spirit.
  • Take one step at a time. Don’t make changes that can be overwhelming and lead to you quitting.
  • If you have already started and fallen into a rut, where you are self-sabotaging, to get back on track plan a future goal. Find something that inspires you that you have been wanting to do.  If you have something in the future that you can use as your focal point, then your changes of sticking with your plan increases.  For example: If you have a trip you want to take that will require a lot of walking or maybe hiking, keep that trip in mind when you hit the gym.  Future focus will lead you to where you want to go.

Check out the interview here, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qvuM6l7OqM

I invite you to utilize the effect of an accountability partner in coaching.  Schedule your complimentary session https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/complimentarysession.

Live Positive My Friends!!

My Upcoming Move and the Yin and Yang Emotions — January 22, 2018

My Upcoming Move and the Yin and Yang Emotions

Happy Monday Everyone!

I have been feeling a wide range of emotions lately.  They range from happiness, love, gratitude, sadness, melancholy and anxiety.  Such a wide range of emotions, right?  Why would I choose to experience all these feelings?  It is because life is not about being happy all the time.  There are lower vibrations/feelings that are needed to be experienced to be a complete being.

My life is taking me on a journey back to Arizona.  With this move my life will experience excitement about being back in a warmer climate.  I will have new opportunities to work on my business and really reinvent myself, attract the clients that I know are out there and will benefit from what I have to offer.  But I will also be moving away from my children, my wonderful daughter-in-law to be, and my beautiful granddaughter.  My heart cries every time I think about being separated from them.

I could let these thoughts dictate my life.  Instead I am choosing to be in control of my life and my emotions.  So, I am allowing myself the time to feel the sadness and longing that will come when I move.  Because it demonstrates the love I have for them.  But then I get to move forward in the knowledge that with technology today I get to keep in touch with them.  And they are only an hour away when taking a plane or a day worth of driving by car.  Also, with the coming success of my business I will have the flexibility and financial freedom to be able to get to see them on a regular basis.

I have chosen to feel sadness, melancholy and anxiety, because this makes me a whole person not just someone that wants all the positive without the negative.  I don’t want to only be present in half of my life I want to be a better person my experiencing them all.  If you take one aha from this blog, it is that you get to choose which feelings you want to resist, accept or not have at all.

Live Positive My Friends!!