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Girl Talk: Intimacy with Your Spouse — July 19, 2018

Girl Talk: Intimacy with Your Spouse

As a teenage girl growing up in the 80’s it was pretty awesome.  There were a lot of independent role models.  The icons of the 80s were Madonna, Janet Jackson and Alyssa Milano to name a few.  These women were teaching us that we were strong, independent women who didn’t need men.  That we were in control.  However; those of us who were married were being taught that we were the ones in control and that everything is up to us.  And that means even the “chicka chicka boom boom”.

This philosophy may look good on paper and sound really empowering but this thinking, I believe, created a lot more dysfunctional marriages and broken homes.  Women decided that men were just another fixture only there for our needs.  No mention of their needs.

In the early 90s there was another icon I started listening to; that was Dr. Laura.  She taught me how important it was to want to have intimacy in my marriage.  Our spouses are not there to serve us.  They are there to be loved by us.  To care for them and respect them and appreciate who they are, not to change them.  Once we release the stress of wanting to control who they are and learn to love them, then the relationship can go so much further.

We do not only need to have sex when we feel like it.  What usually makes us not want to feel like it, is us.  We tell ourselves how tired we are, how busy we are, how unattractive we feel.  We fool ourselves into thinking that if we don’t feel like it, we don’t have to worry about our partner.  That is such a selfish thought.  Being close to your spouse in such an intimate manner is one of the blessing we have in life.  If you feel that you are telling yourself that you’re tired, that only you matter, etc., then you need to decide how important a happy marriage is to you.  If your spouse is wanting sex and at that particular time you aren’t feeling like it, then change your thoughts.  Put on music that makes you feel happy and sassy.  Dress up, do your hair and makeup.  If being funny and humorous can get you in the mood do that.  This will dramatically change your marriage.  If you don’t believe me; challenge yourself to try this over the next few months, but you will also have to change your thinking about your whole relationship no just when you are being intimate.

The status of your relationship is all in your mind.  If you want a fabulous relationship all you have to do is think it.

If you would like to experience a relationship coaching session click here to schedule – https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/relationship-coaching.

Live Positive My Friends!!

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Lessons Learned from My Divorce — July 6, 2018

Lessons Learned from My Divorce

I understand there are a lot of emotions that are swirling around like a hurricane in your mind and body when you are going through a divorce.  I have been there.  I was very emotional from being sad to being angry.   There was a lot of insecurity of what was next and a lot of fear of being on my own.

Now that I am years separated from my divorce I can look back and see the lessons that I have learned.  These lessons had more to do with me than him.  I never looked at my ex-husband with hate and vindictiveness.  I always looked at the divorce as we out grew our relationship.  I will have people who read this and will start giving reasons why their divorce is different than mine and will start giving me proof of why they hate their ex and how bad of a person he/she is or was to them.  I am not discrediting what happened in anyone’s life, but I will give to you the ability to be free from hating.  When you can look back and realize first off there was a time in your life that you loved this person who you now look at with disgust.  This feeling of disgust and anger is not affecting him/her, it is affecting you, and not in a good way.

Lesson #1:  Be responsible for your own feelings.  If you are feeling anger and hate in your body and mind this is being generated from you, not your ex-spouse, ex-partner or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

The next part of this I want to share is the introspection I did on myself.  A relationship takes two people to create.  I can look back on my relationship and see where I could grow from how I conducted myself in the relationship.  Again, I am going to have people telling me their story of how their spouse cheated on them or how their spouse was abusive, etc.  I am not de-valuing what happened in your relationship.  But is there a way you could have handled it better for yourself, for your children (if it applies), is there something that you can take and grow as a person, without having the negative thoughts and feelings that are associated with your relationship.

Lesson #2: This lesson came from taking responsibility for my thinking and actions in the relationship.  I can now use this information today in every type of relationship I am apart of today.  I am not responsible for any other person’s feelings but my own.  I cannot control any other person but myself.  I start this lesson out with this statement because this was a biggest part of my marriage and my divorce.  I assumed my husband was unhappy and wasn’t communicating with me and these thoughts created a lot of frustration for me.  Here I was assuming what my husband was feeling, and even if he was unhappy it had more to do with him than me.  As far as him not being a person that I felt wasn’t a person that was able to communicate, I should have allowed him to be that person.  And last, his happiness had nothing to do with my happiness.  I learned I create my own reality.  As part of this lesson do not have expectations for your partner.  This is a big topic to get into in this blog but believe me it doesn’t help anyone to expect them to make you happy.

With all of that said.  If I would have concentrated on the part of life that I had complete control over, which was myself, I could have turned my marriage around.  I could have created what I perceived as an unhappy marriage to a happy marriage.  That doesn’t necessarily mean that we would have stayed together.  I don’t know what would have happened.  But I would have created a much more happy and peaceful part of my life.

I also look back and know that I do not regret my divorce because for one I can’t change it, and 2 I would not have grown into the person I am today.

Lesson #3: It only takes one person in the relationship to change to change the relationship.  I know you are saying to yourself, why should I change, and they don’t have to.  Because you are the one that controls you, and if you are the one seeing an issue, it is in your thoughts, maybe they aren’t seeing it.  They may be completely happy, and you should join them.

I want to leave you with this last thought.  No matter where you are in your divorce, never, never, never use your children against the other.  Do not talk about your spouse to your children in a negative way, and about your relationship.  Usually the children are too young to understand what is going on and it simply isn’t their business.  There is no upside to destroying a mother/father relationship for your child.

This topic is so huge that it will take multiple blogs to cover everything.  But this is a good start to use whether you are going through a divorce or in a relationship.  These lessons can help you no matter where you are in your relationship.

If you want to schedule a relationship coaching session click this link today https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/relationship-coaching

Live Positive My Friends!!

Food Addiction; Recovery is Possible. — March 29, 2018

Food Addiction; Recovery is Possible.

I am a self-admitted food addict.  I have been an addict most of my life.  I thought dieting was the solution without realizing what was truly going on in my brain centers.  I hated myself for not being able to stick to any food regimen and cheating and lying about it to my family and friends.

I would wake up each day feeling strong and motivated that I was going to stay on my diet.  I remember counting calories; counting points, trying to cut out carbs, eating low fat and journaling everything I would eat.  I use to blame my focus on food on always being on a diet and having to think about it all the time.  When I stopped doing all of the counting and journaling I still gained weight and thought about food all the time.

I hated the way I looked and felt.  I would cry when I would try on clothes or look in the mirror.  I felt so hopeless and that there was no hope for me.  I gave up and just ate food to make me happy but then I ended up hating myself and beating myself up for eating it.

Here I am today and I do not focus on past mistakes anymore.  I am where I need to be emotionally and am happy with who I am.  I understand how food; processed sugar and flour, interact with my body and the pleasure center of my brain.  I know that my mind will try to justify the type of foods that have processed sugar and flour in them because it is programmed to seek out pleasure.  I know that my thoughts drive my feelings which create my actions to what I am choosing to eat.  With this knowledge I am losing the weight and in control of my life and my relationship with food.

Here are a few questions that will help you determine if you are a food addict as well.

  • Do you have health concerns but still continue to overeat?
  • Do you use food to feel pleasure and avoid emotions?
  • Do you constantly think about food?
  • Do you lie about the food that you eat to friends and family?
  • Do you feel shame after eating?

These are just some of the questions you can ask yourself to determine if you need assistance in breaking the food addition and moving into food recovery.  The first three steps I focus on with my clients are acknowledgment, acceptance and love of self.  Click on this link if you want to schedule a complimentary food addiction coaching session, https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/30min,

With love, Live Positive my friends.

How to Avoid Sugar and Still Indulge Your Sweet-tooth High-quality Style! — March 8, 2018

How to Avoid Sugar and Still Indulge Your Sweet-tooth High-quality Style!

Derrick Rose quote, “Everybody’s got their poison, and mine is sugar.”

Sugar is such an addictive substance and harmful in many way; however, we continue to consume it in excessive amounts.  Some of the effects of excessive sugar consumption are:

  • Premature aging
  • Hyperactivity
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Anxiety
  • Alzheimer’s Disease
  • Mild memory loss
  • Slow down the ability of the adrenal glands functions
  • Suppressed immune system

We’ve all heard that too much highly processed, refined sugar can have devastating effects on your metabolism and contribute to all sorts of diseases. This is no joke… Here’s why:

  • Sugar equals tons of calories with no essential nutrients. All it does is cause tooth decay by literally feeding harmful bacteria in your mouth!
  • If you eat high quantities of refined, processed sugar but do no exercise you are at risk, for the fructose derived from an excess of sugar, to get lodged in your liver and cause non-alcoholic fatty liver disease.
  • When you consume too much sugar, it can cause resistance to the hormone insulin, which can lead to diseases like metabolic syndrome, obesity, cardiovascular disease and type II diabetes.
  • An excess amount of sugar can have a devastating effect on your metabolism, which is now known to lead to cancer.
  • Sugar is highly addictive because after ingestion it causes a huge release of dopamine in your brain.
  • Sugar is a major contributor to heart disease, which is the number one killer in the world.

But what many people don’t realize is that there are healthier, alternative sweeteners out there that won’t damage your health as much and taste just as sweet, if not more!  So when you do want to indulge check out these high quality sweeteners.

So what are some of these high quality sweetener alternatives to processed sugar?

  1. Stevia—a plant used by the Guarani people of South America for more than 1500 years:
  • Tastes about 300 times sweeter than table sugar
  • No calories, no impact on blood sugar and may reduce blood pressure
  • Make sure to buy only 100% whole leaf stevia
  1. Xylitol—a sugar alcohol that is neither sugar nor alcohol but is actually an organic compound:
  • About the same sweetness as table sugar
  • Comes from a non-GMO plant source
  • Low in calorie and no effect on blood sugars
  1. Erythritol—also a sugar alcohol like Xylitol
  • About 70% as sweet as table sugar and tastes just like it
  • It is 100% Erythritol
  • Nearly non caloric, doesn’t spike blood sugar and is easily digested
  1. Coconut palm sugar—from the sap of cut flower buds of the coconut palm:
  • Same sweetness as table sugar
  • Look for labels that say coconut sugar, coconut crystals or coconut palm sugar
  • Has a low glycemic index and contains some nutrients and fiber
  1. Agave—produced from the leaves of this Mexican succulent plant
  • It is about one and a half times sweeter than table sugar
  • Make sure to buy organic agave
  • It lowers the glycemic index more than table sugar does
  1. Honey—bees, bees, bees…:
  • Slightly sweeter than table sugar
  • Buy raw, local and organic honey
  • Can help boost immune system and seasonal allergies and sooth sore throats
  1. Lucuma powder—produced from this subtropical fruit native to South America:
  • Sweet, maple flavor
  • Make sure it is 100% lucuma powder
  • Can help boost immune system, no effect on blood sugar and contains nutrients
  1. Maple syrup—made from the sap of sugar, red or black maple trees:
  • About 3 times sweeter than table sugar
  • Buy organic pure grade B maple syrup
  • Lower fructose content than table sugar but don’t be fooled it’s still sugar
  1. Monk fruit (lo han gou)—made from a green melon that grows in the mountaintops of Asia:
  • About 200 or 300 times sweeter than table sugar
  • Buy pure monk fruit or pure lo han gou sweetener
  • Non caloric, no impact on blood sugar and may be anti-inflammatory

How can I use one of these alternative sweeteners in my cooking?

Here’s an awesome, healthy and sweet recipe for Candied Walnuts to get you started:

Prep time: 5 mins; Serves: 4

1 cup raw walnuts, chopped or whole

1 tsp cinnamon

2 T coconut oil

1 T honey

salt to taste

In a medium hot frying pan, add coconut oil, walnuts, salt and cinnamon. Cook until toasted, about 10 min. In the last couple minutes, add the honey for a sweeter taste.

What do I do now?

If you’re unhappily addicted to processed sugar and want to make a change that will greatly benefit your health, then click this link, https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/30min, now to schedule a time to talk with me about the next steps you can take.

I am here to help you make a plan to reduce or eliminate processed sugar in your diet and substitute with alternative sweeteners that will completely change your life!

As Always My Friends, Live Positive!

Balance Life to Get Quality Sleep — March 1, 2018

Balance Life to Get Quality Sleep

When we think of our health and getting fit sleep is usually the last piece we think about.  We think about getting up to work out, making the healthier choices throughout the day and reducing stress.  Sleep may be fourth on the list or overlooked all together.  We may think I don’t need as much sleep as others and it may be a badge of honor to say we can function on less than 6 hours’ worth of sleep.  But how much damage are you truly doing for that badge of honor?

Lack of sleep effects your memory, your response time, your immune system, can lead to high blood pressure and according to WebMD, lack of sleep can kill your sex drive.  Sleep is vital to an overall healthy wellbeing and balanced life.  So how do we accomplish this?

In my podcast, Sleep Peaceful Tonight https://livepositivelc.podbean.com/e/sleep-peaceful-tonight/, I discuss tips for a better night’s sleep.  One of them is having to do with how to get a consistent 7 to 9 hours of sleep.  The way to do this is to start closing the gap by 15 minute increments.

The way to accomplish getting 15 minutes more of shut eye is to figure out where you can cut out time on things that aren’t important to the priorities in your life.  Here is a tip on how to do that:

  • List your top 5 most important priorities in your life.
  • Review the next 7 days on your calendar
    • Make a list of activities scheduled that support your top 5 priorities
    • Make a list of activities schedule that do NOT support your top 5 priorities
  • Choose and circle at least ONE activity that does NOT support your top 5 priorities that you will cancel in the next 24 hours.
  • Write out this sentence “The activity I will cancel in the next 24 hours is: ___________________.

With this new found time you are able to shift your life to get in the additional sleep your body needs.

One last thought to help with getting more sleep in your life is to be aware of the time stealers; like binge watching Netflix, tv, social media, etc.  Shut off the electronics to shut down your brain.

As always my friends, Live Positive!!

Paradigm in Weight Loss — February 8, 2018

Paradigm in Weight Loss

Happy Thursday Tribe!!  I hope you all have had a glorious week.  I know I have.  This week’s theme has been paradigms.  So lets start there.

What is a paradigm? The definition given by dictionary.com is “a typical example or pattern of something; a model”.  This to me would be a belief that is widely accepted.

What is a paradigm related to health and nutrition? The way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more.  Does this sound accurate and true?  Most people will say yes.

However, there is so much more involved in creating a healthy and sustainable weight loss.  What you eat is more important than eating less.  People like to believe that you can eat whatever you want as long as it is in moderation.  That works for very few people.  I have tried it and failed.  This belief does not allow you to lose weight.  Why?

A couple of reasons is because when you are eating processed foods and sugar your body will respond with an insulin spike; insulin is a fat storing hormone.  Therefore; your body will go into fat storing mode.  Also, the processed sugar foods that we eat, are consumed more out of craving and desire than hunger.  As long as you continue to eat these foods, even in moderation, you will continue to have urges and desire for it.  This will only lead to you eating more.

The paradigm shift I would like to offer to you is to eating clean leads to sustainable weight loss.  When we were created and lived in the cave men era we did not have all the processed foods we do now.  We ate raw/clean food for fuel.  If you can over come the desire and urges and switch to a more clean protocol, you will achieve weight loss.

Life Positive My Friends!!

At the End of the Cleanse — February 5, 2018

At the End of the Cleanse

If you have been following my blog you know I have been on a cleanse.  I am now at the end of my reset cleanse.  We are in the last phase of the cleanse reintroducing the foods back into my diet.  You don’t want to re-introduce all the foods back into your diet all at once because the purpose is to find out how your body responds to the foods that are common irritants.

During this phase you will re-introduce gluten, 2 to 3 times a day for the next 2 days, back into your diet.  As you are reintroducing these foods back into your regimen record how your body responds to the food.

After doing this step for two days go back to eating off of the cleanse menu.  Then the next two days re-introduce dairy back into your diet.  As you see you are re-introducing specific items back in to see the reaction.

My protocol I am going back to is no flour/no processed sugar and intermittent fasting.  I choose a window of eating and stay with in that window.  The window I choose is 11 am to 7 pm.  This is not the protocol I use for my clients that want weight loss, this is my protocol.

Health coaching is helping you find what is sustainable in your life.  We work together to find out what you want to achieve, work with what you want in your protocol and journal what you eat.  This way as time goes by if you are not getting the results you want, you have a record of what you have been eating and we work to tweak your protocol.

If you have been using food to avoid emotions there will be drama that will show up, together we work through the drama and the thoughts you are having about the changes.  This is where the work comes in that will make this weight loss permanent.

I want to invite you to schedule a free session, https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/30min, and lets see where we can take you.

Live Positive My Friends!!

 

It’s the big Weekend — February 2, 2018

It’s the big Weekend

Who are you going for this weekend?  If you don’t know what I am talking about it is Super Bowl weekend.  Whether you are sitting down to watch the game or just the commercials I hope you have a great time.  For me, I want to focus on the food.

If you have been following my posts you know I started a cleanse last Saturday.  I know, poor timing on my part, right?  But I don’t see it that way.  I don’t want food to be my center of enjoyment or pleasure.  I want to enjoy the event, the people, the game.  Or whatever it is going on in life at the time.

I just moved to Arizona and my husband wants to go out to a new restaurant to try out the local food.  And this sounds great to me.  There are so many choices that can be made that will still keep me on my cleanse.

Here are some tips on staying true to yourself and still enjoying life.

  • Order a salad (if on a cleanse avoid the dairy)
  • Order a sandwich or hamburger without the bun
  • Drink Lemon water
  • Order quinoa or brown rice with fish
  • Baked chicken

Don’t use food as your pleasure, use food for fuel.  Enjoy the company you are with.  Give your attention to your guest(s) and to your surroundings.  Sit back and listen to what is going on around you.  Put your phone down.  Have awareness in your life.

Whatever your plans are this weekend or any other time in life, plan what you will eat.  Focus on the atmosphere.  And eat to fuel your body.

I want to invite you to check out my podcast for more in depth information on not using food for fulfillment.

Live Positive My Friends!

Re-Enforcement Meditation — January 31, 2018

Re-Enforcement Meditation

Greetings and Salutations to a wonderful Tribe!  Hope you are all out there creating the life you see for yourself!

We are 5 days in to our 14-day reset cleanse.  If you are doing this with me and are having your ups and downs, I am right there with you.  I still have an occasional struggle and want to throw it all down the drain.  My mind still has the habit thought that I “need” a soda.  But this is completely normal.  This thought loop as been with me for the better part of 30 years.  It will not change over-night and it isn’t easy.  But it is worth it.

Today I started my day out with what I call a re-enforcement meditation.  How is this done?  Before you sit down in your quiet spot shake out the energy you have in your body.  Shake your arms, kick out your legs, shake your feet, wiggle your head.  Now sit down in a posture that is comfortable for you but no slouching.  Really pull your spine up and feel the confidence going through your being.  Clear out your mind.  Now, intentionally place your goal in the center of your mind’s eye.  Really focus on it.  Breathe in deep and exhale out.  Repeat.  Now focus on the reason why you want to reach this goal.  Here is how I did the thought process for my goal of completing this cleanse.

My why – to get healthy.  This thought seems very simplistic and may not be enough to get me through the struggling moments.  So, I then ask myself why do I want to get healthy?  Well there are layers of answers for why I want to get healthy: my business, my husband, my children, my granddaughter, to really experience life for as long as I can, financially.   I can then do another layer of re enforcing my why – what does getting healthy mean for my business?  More confidence in reaching out to people to show them that coaching does work, that I will have more flexibility in my schedule for my family, to be able to really serve the community of the people that struggle like I did.

The steps above can really keep going for each layer of what I listed for my reason to be healthy.  As you go through the steps you will really feel the re commitment right down to the center of your core.  The next time you have the thought error of wanting something that is not in alignment with your goal this re-enforced thought will also be there to keep you on track.

I invite you to check out and follow my podcast, <a href=”https://livepositivelc.podbean.com/mf/play/iuwwdu/2018-01-31-_6.mp3″>Download this episode (right click and save)</a>, to hear me do the breathing technique and to hear about self-care that will help you in reaching your goals.

I would love to hear from you – Live Positive My Friends!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cleanse Enhancing Activities — January 30, 2018

Cleanse Enhancing Activities

Happy Tuesday!! Hope you are having an amazing day.  I am sending love out to you.

Today I want to go over a couple of topics for the cleanse I am doing.  What I have experienced and some activities that will help get through the cleanse.

Let’s go with the ugly first.  🙂    Doing this cleanse, I of course, have to stop the caffeine.  If you have ever tried to get off of soda or coffee you know the withdrawal symptoms.  And that is what I got to experience yesterday.  I had a great morning but as the day went on the increase of aches and pains started up.  Extreme headache by the afternoon.  The solution for me was to take some Excedrin and a nap.   When I woke up I felt great.  Day one down.

Now let’s go with the good.  To keep your body moving and eliminating waste you want to stay hydrated.  I mentioned before I use an app to remind me to drink water.  I have been staying in the upper 90 percentile of my water intake.

Along with staying hydrated I have flax seeds and chia seeds in my morning shake.  I love having shakes in the morning.  They are quick and convenient.  How can you go wrong?  If you want to make sure you are getting your fiber to keep things moving please try this flax seed cocktail compliments of HCI.

Drink the flax seed cocktail on an empty stomach in the morning and night.  You will want to buy ground flax seed.  Add 1 full teaspoon to 8oz of water.  Drink quickly.  If you let it sit too long it will coagulate.  Follow with a second glass of water to move toxins through the body.

The next activity I want to offer to you is to use a bath brush to brush off the dead skin cells from the body and get your blood circulating.  You want to do this every morning.  Use a brush that has a long handle, non-synthetic, hard bristled brush.  You want to use strokes starting with your feet and brushing towards your heart.  After dry brushing jump in the shower and start your day.

Last item I want to share is a cleansing recipe.  Again, this is compliments of HCI.

Baked Carrot Oven Fries
One bunch of organic carrots, unpeeled, washed, trimmed
2 Tbs extra virgin olive oil
Sea Salt

This is the perfect side dish to satisfy that sweet tooth!
Heat over to 375. Chop the green leafy tops off the carrots. Line a baking
sheet with foil. Arrange carrots in a single layer on the baking sheet,
toss with olive oil and sprinkle with salt. Bake for 25-30 minutes or
until carrots are golden brown where they touch the pan.

I would love to hear any feed back you may have.  If you enjoy the recipe or not.

Live Positive My Friends!!