Let’s talk about relationships. The first thing that probably comes to mind when someone says “relationship” is probably your romantic relationship. But there are so many other relationships in our lives. We have brothers, sisters, parents, friends and even co-workers that you have relationships with.
Relationship can tend to be frustrating. You may get frustrated when the people you interact with each and every day don’t do what you think is best. It could be a co-worker that you are explaining something to and after you leave they find a different way to it that suits them, but you don’t see it the way they do. Or your kids that you give advice to and they refuse to listen or do the opposite you say. Or a communication issue with your parents. All of these scenarios can leave you wanting to scream or pull your hair out. Can I get an Amen? I have two boys enough said.
But what I am going to share with you today is going to save your sanity. Drop all expectations. It’s that simple. It’s when you expect someone to do what you say or that you want to control the situation that you tend to feel frustrated. Everyone on this earth has the right to be who they want to be and do what they want to do. You get to choose how you want to feel about that person. Let me give you some examples.
If you have a family member or a friend that you are constantly inviting to gatherings and they are always busy doing something else, you may tend to start to think this person doesn’t care. You start feeling angry, sad, frustrated or disappointed. These are all normal responses because we expect that if you invite someone to an event that they would want to come. When they don’t you start to tell yourself stories, in your mind. These stories you tell your self are what creates the feelings you are having. The best way to combat these feelings is to let the person be who they want to be. You cannot change them. You can always extend the invitation but have no expectations tied to their response. This will not only create a more peaceful mind for you but more peace in your relationship. That is what makes this so great and awesome. You get to decide how you want to feel.
Another example: If your child, son or daughter, ends up in prison or dealing with a drug addiction, as a parent the first thing you want to do is start evaluating what you did wrong. But who says you did anything wrong? That is when you get to let them make their own choices and face their own consequences. You can feel empathy for them and want to help them empower themselves, but never take on someone else’s actions as your responsibility. This does not serve you. You can even set time aside to grieve about what could have been; however, do not choose this spot as your resting place. There is still more life for them to live and for you to live. No one knows the future and you will never know why they are living the path they are living. Only in the future is their purpose revealed.
In summary, you get to choose how you get to feel about any relationship in your life. If you choose to love someone you get to love them, unconditionally. They cannot stop you from loving or feeling love for them. And why would you want to choose any other emotion?
If you have a relationship that you want to work through I invite you to schedule a complimentary session we me, https://calendly.com/livepositivelc/relationship-coaching,
Live Positive My Friends!!