Marriage is not always sunshine and roses. Neither was it meant to be. Just like in life there is going to be positive and negative. What makes a good marriage is working through the negative and accepting the it. Understanding what is making it negative. What is making it negative or bad is the thinking you have behind it.
I am on my second marriage and I choose to be happy in this marriage. Not by making up things that don’t exist but by not making him be the person I want him to become. I married him because I love who he is, why would I want to change that?
Just the other night there was a topic that I enjoy discussing but he doesn’t really want to talk about it. I could have made a big deal about it and made him feel bad for not feeling my need to express myself. I could have used this moment to criticize and point out all the things he is doing wrong. But you know what, there isn’t anything he is doing wrong.
I am letting him be him. I could choose to look at my marriage and my husband and find everything that I believe to be wrong with him or I could look at my marriage and my husband and see everything that is right about him.
The next time you are feeling like your spouse/partner is not living up to what you thought marriage would be, look at your thoughts you are having and do a love fest on them. What do I mean by a love fest? Write down everything you love about your spouse/partner and you will feel a change in how you feel and the direction of your marriage.
Here is my love fest on my husband:
- I love the way he is concerned about my feelings (even though he has not control) 😊
- I love the way he laughs
- I love the effort he puts in with caring for our dogs and making sure they have good nutrition
- I love his body
- I love how he smells
- I love how he takes care of himself and takes pride in the way he looks
- I love how he takes care of my vehicle for me
- I love how he makes sure I get to visit my children
- I love the he snuggles with me
- I love how he still opens the door for me
I could go on and on, but you understand what a love fest is, and I challenge you to write down 10 things you can love on about your partner.
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Live Positive My Friends!